Personal Development or Self-Acceptance
I remember when I started my journey in Personal Development, a couple of years before qualifying as a Coach, that I was confused with what I was reading about Personal Development and Self-Acceptance, often described as Self Love.
I have experienced internal conflicts for a couple of years until I reach a level of understanding who allowed me to position the two concepts in a correct way.
On one hand, when I started working on myself a part of me was resisting to changing anything about myself. I felt frustrated at times with myself and the world thinking that:
Why shouldn’t be the one who needs to change but the world! Why should I, if no one else around me shows any intention on being flexible or make amends when needed? Why can I just accept myself? I just want to accept myself! I just hate the fact that I have to change and make an extra effort when others don’t give a shit!
This was my internal dialogue for a good time and believe you me, wasn’t easy to live with that narrative constantly playing up in my head. It took me to overcome a lot of highs and lows to understand that the way I was reporting to myself and others was damaging my spirit.
My priority should’ve been myself, to move into a good place in many aspects then, I would’ve had the resources to change anything externally if possible or just let go of certain aspects, people. I poured a lot of energy, keeping my focus in the wrong direction. I am however grateful that eventually, I shifted. I am conscious that some may never do, living their whole life dictated by sabotaging narrative stories.
The intention behind my own Personal Development was never to become famous and reach but becoming the person I knew deeply wanted to be. I somehow trusted that the rest will follow, that wealth can be achieved from that place and this was my definition of success.
I eventually reached that stage of self-acceptance, of laughing at myself when I screw up because and I do…often still. Some things come out exactly the way I want some far from it. Some days I lose my shit as a result of a silly thing that happened, some days I get done a lot of difficult things, making though decisions with precision in which case I rarely lose my shit.
Perhaps if you are at the beginning of your Personal Development journey or at least considering starting, you may be confused about what is most important:
To develop aspects of yourself and reshape your views or to work on just accepting yourself. Love yourself unconditionally, as you have probably read everywhere.
My expertise in Coaching, as well as my personal experience, taught me that self-acceptance cannot happen until you reach a deeper level of understanding about self. Until some of the toxic beliefs you are holding on too are shaken from their place. Over time, by working on these aspects self-acceptance, respect and empathy will replace the old ways of looking at self.
In any human development process, there are 5 stages or levels if you prefer this word, and Acceptance is the last one. Acceptance is the one who closes the circle and what allows us to move forward.
If you would like to work on developing certain aspects of self and move towards self-acceptance, please feel free to reach out.
I would love to help you!
