Up until a few years ago, my mind was super neurotic, speeding with 100 miles an hour from a to-do list to more to-do lists. I was living my life from targets to targets and from bullet point to bullet point.
For about 28 years of my life, all I did was trying to keep up with my mind speed which led to many burnouts. When achieving an objective the sense of joy and accomplishment was missing, I couldn’t feel it most likely because I was flat out, with no energy left.
Through other’s eyes, I’ve always looked like a strong, confident and ambitious person. The truth was that I was consistently experiencing internal conflicts and a lot of friction.
I have wrestled so much with myself that I became rather good at it! And when you are good at something giving it up does not come easily trust me!
What triggered my willingness to change was at first a panic attack followed by a depression combined with generalised anxiety.
I could say that I have won the Jackpot even I never played the lottery!
I continued to work in my full-time job during this time and did Cognitive Behaviour Coaching for a few months. At work, no one knew what was happening and I did my best to pretend that I am doing just fine!
Isn’t this our favour answer when we are not okay?
This lasted a good few months and during this time I was trying hard to find activities which will bring a glimpse of joy at least and though my search I discovered Yoga.
The first few classes were super uncomfortable and I have felt like I wanted to run through the walls. At that time staying still for 5 minutes was too much let alone doing a 90 minutes Yoga class, but I could see the benefits straight away after each class.
Yoga has helped me to calm down my nervous system and slow down my thoughts. This way I could become conscious of my thoughts and started working towards transforming them using Cognitive Behaviour tools.
After a short period, I began to see positive changes. My thoughts were much more positive and empowering and I became more responsive to things that were happening on a daily basis, as opposed to be in reactive mode.
No matter what tools we use to change our thoughts will not work much if we are in a reactive state.
Will power is not enough purely because our subconscious is a lot more powerful than our conscious.
No matter what challenge you are facing in any giving moment slow down physically or stay still and regulate your breath. Only then you can notice your thoughts and work on transforming them.
If you are a driven person and your thoughts are causing you to speed with 100 miles an hour, please feel free to reach out.
I would love to be able to help you!